I went to the doctor's office today to confirm what I already knew from the numerous at home tests I did myself, but you have to hear it from a doctor to believe it I guess. So the first thing the nurse says to me when she walks me back is "Did you ever have your follow up blood work back in January?" I told her that yes, I had my blood work done and had been cleared to try again from my midwife. She's the nurse... shouldn't she know that already? So already I'm a little frustrated on top of my nervousness about being back in the doctors office. Then I do the whole pee in the cup drill. The nurse does the pregnancy test and comes in to tell me that it is positive but faint (maybe if she had waited longer than one minute it wouldn't have been faint) but she said that was fine since I'm so early. Side note- since the nurse freaked me out by saying that it was "faint", I rushed out to buy another pregnancy test as soon as I left the doctor's office. My results weren't faint at all, clearly two bright pink lines, although I guess there could be a difference in the test sensitivities. You would think the doctor's office test would be better/more accurate than an at home test though.
I didn't see my midwife today, because when I scheduled my appointment I just told them to get me in with whoever could see me. The doctor I had today was really nice and if my midwife is ever unavailable I will definitely be seeing this doctor again. The doctor did her exam and said that everything felt normal. She chatted with me for a few minutes about being pregnant after a miscarriage- said that my chances of having a healthy pregnancy are good, talked about how I was feeling, and told me that I'm pretty much on pelvic rest for the next 8 weeks (which basically means no sex, no heavy lifting, no strenuous activities). She told me to just take things easy the next few weeks until we get through the first trimester.
The last time I went through this doctors appointment (confirming the first pregnancy), I was asked about 100 questions about everything under the sun. This was at my previous OB/Gyn office before I switched to the midwife's practice. This time around, no one asked any questions. They also didn't do any blood work either, but I guess maybe they will do that at my next appointment. She gave me a prescription for a prenatal vitamin, although I've been taking a prenatal vitamin since July. I guess I'll use the one she gave me even though it costs a fortune! I'll ask the next time I'm in what the difference is between what I've been taking and this new one that costs roughly $1 per pill.
I know that this is silly and I will probably regret this when it happens, but I've been praying that God would give me every pregnancy symptom possible so that I know it is for real this time. Last time around I only had one little bout with morning sickness and that was it.
Please pray that everything goes as it is supposed to with this pregnancy, that I am able to carry this baby to full term, and that we would be able to have a healthy baby as an end result of this pregnancy. Please also pray that these next 8 weeks go by quickly for me and Michael. I so badly want to be out of the first trimester and past the point where I had my miscarriage last time.
I'm scheduled to go back in on April 19th for my dating ultrasound (ugh... this was the one that I went in for last time only to find out that there was nothing in there... let's pray that doesn't happen again!) and a follow up appointment with my midwife.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Here we go again...
Everything got back to normal with my body in January and so we began trying again. Two months came and went with numerous negative pregnancy tests. I was frustrated (even though I know it was just a short time) and decided to stop trying for a while so I could get back to my goal weight, after putting on a few pounds from dealing with our previous loss.
So I started the weight loss program again and lost 11 pounds which made me happy because I felt like at least I could be in control of something since I obviously couldn't control getting pregnant. I told Michael and a few other people "Just watch... now that I'm back on the diet and not trying to get pregnant, it will happen".
Sure enough. Three weeks into my diet I decided to take a pregnancy test, fully expecting it to be another big fat negative since we had hardly been trying, waited the required 3 minutes and read the results. I checked it anticipating another "not pregnant" reading on my digitial test, but instead saw "pregnant". What?! Seriously? I had come to terms with not trying, convincing myself that we are still young and have plenty of time. I didn't want to get excited or get my hopes up since that worked out so well last time. I felt frustrated that I still had weight to lose and now can no longer do the diet program. I felt worried because of the medication I had been on. I still had 3 days before I was supposed to get my period, so I thought maybe it was a fluke.
I did some research on the internet about false positives with digital tests and found that a good number of people had experienced a false positive using a certain brand of test. So now I had convinced myself that it could be a false positive and I better try a different brand. Yes, I know that I am completely ridiculous and yes, I know that numerous positive tests being false is pretty much unheard of, but I just had to test again. I had one digital test left over from last month which was a different brand than the first one I used, so I tried that one. Again a "pregnant" result. Ok, well that one was digital so maybe I should try just the old fashion, non-digital, two lines equals you're pregnant type of test. I went to the store and got one and used it as soon as I got home. Yep, clear as could be, two pink lines. Not like last time when it was a faint second line that sent me googling for answers. This time it was right away- two perfectly clear pink lines.
So 3 digital tests and one old fashion test later, I've realized that I must really be pregnant. Still it is hard to get excited because I'm not sure if it will end in another miscarriage (praying that it doesn't) but I feel like it's real this time. The weird part is that I haven't had many of the tell-tale early pregnancy symptoms, many of which I did experience last time. My boobs aren't sore, I don't feel sick, no real hunger/cravings, I haven't been extremely tired, haven't had to pee every five seconds. The only clues were my sense of smell being out of control, being a little emotional, and a few headaches... all things I experience before that time of the month normally. An example of my superhuman nose- I was outside playing frisbee with Cooper, our dog, and I could tell that someone in the neighborhood was making chocolate chip cookies. It wasn't like it was just a faint smell... it was like I was cooking them in my kitchen and I was standing over the oven smelling them. That and laundry- if any of our neighbors are doing laundry when I walk the dog I could tell you what brand of laundry soap they are using.
I go to the doctor on Thursday to confirm the pregnancy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this time it is for real because I'm not sure how I would deal with another loss. I wish there was some way I could fast forward my life 12-14 weeks so that I'd know everything is going to be ok this time around.
It's almost comical sometimes the way that God works. We tried on our own for a while, timing things just right, following all the rules with no success. Then as soon as we stop trying to do it on our own, God comes in and reminds us "Hey I am in control here, not you guys... so we are going to do things My way". Funny how that happens. I'm constantly reminding myself that God is in control, not me. He can handle this way better than I ever could, so I should just let him take care of the situation.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Getting back to normal
I went in for another blood test on Monday, Jan. 16th to check my hcg levels again. The midwife told me that if I waited about 10 days before coming in for my second blood test that my levels should be back to zero. She was right. The nurse called the very next day to tell me that everything was back to zero and I was cleared to try again. Today I got my period and have never been more excited to get it. Usually it is dreaded, but I was glad this time because it means that everything is back to normal and we can try again.
I have been very stressed out the past few weeks with the uncertainty of when things would get back to normal. I've also been stressed out about the 15 pounds I gained while eating like a normal person (and let's be honest... a lot of emotional eating after the miscarriage). I started a low carb diet plan regulated by a physician last April and lost 52 pounds. At my lowest, I weighed 20 pounds less than I did in high school and was in the best shape I've ever been in. Then I found out I was pregnant and needed to have a more balanced diet so I started to eat things I hadn't eaten in months. Along with that came a few extra pounds.
After the miscarriage I had been debating whether or not I should go back to the low carb diet to try to lose the extra pounds or just try to eat healthier and exercise more. Since I had heard that many people get pregnant again after a miscarriage without ever having a period, I figured it would probably be best to just go the eating healthy/exercise more route until I knew for sure that I wasn't pregnant again. That didn't really work and I was frustrated. I decided I would go back to what I knew would work which was the plan I did to lose the 52 pounds. I don't think I'll make it back to my goal weight because my body just has a hard time maintaining it, but I would like to lose at least the 15 I gained. I started week one of the program again this Monday and this is the most intense week of the program. It is definitely working though... I'm already down 4 pounds. I think I will continue to stay on the plan and keep my current exercise schedule until I find out I'm pregnant again. If nothing else, it makes me feel better about myself and feel like I have control over something!
It is nice to feel like things are finally getting back to normal :)
I have been very stressed out the past few weeks with the uncertainty of when things would get back to normal. I've also been stressed out about the 15 pounds I gained while eating like a normal person (and let's be honest... a lot of emotional eating after the miscarriage). I started a low carb diet plan regulated by a physician last April and lost 52 pounds. At my lowest, I weighed 20 pounds less than I did in high school and was in the best shape I've ever been in. Then I found out I was pregnant and needed to have a more balanced diet so I started to eat things I hadn't eaten in months. Along with that came a few extra pounds.
After the miscarriage I had been debating whether or not I should go back to the low carb diet to try to lose the extra pounds or just try to eat healthier and exercise more. Since I had heard that many people get pregnant again after a miscarriage without ever having a period, I figured it would probably be best to just go the eating healthy/exercise more route until I knew for sure that I wasn't pregnant again. That didn't really work and I was frustrated. I decided I would go back to what I knew would work which was the plan I did to lose the 52 pounds. I don't think I'll make it back to my goal weight because my body just has a hard time maintaining it, but I would like to lose at least the 15 I gained. I started week one of the program again this Monday and this is the most intense week of the program. It is definitely working though... I'm already down 4 pounds. I think I will continue to stay on the plan and keep my current exercise schedule until I find out I'm pregnant again. If nothing else, it makes me feel better about myself and feel like I have control over something!
It is nice to feel like things are finally getting back to normal :)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Answers and clarity
I spoke with my midwife on Friday, (which by the way, I am so glad I chose a midwife because whenever something happens she is the person who calls me not a secretary or a nurse like normally happens with the doctors office) and she gave me some info about my miscarriage situation.
She told me that my blood test results had come back from the lab and my hcg level was 23. She also told me that they found my information from the hospital (I'm not sure why they couldn't find it to begin with, but I'm just glad they were able to locate it after all). She said that she saw all the information from my visit on Christmas- the pictures from the ultrasound, information about a recorded a fetal heart rate of 144 and then again of 166, and also the crown to rump measurements. The midwife told me that she met with all the doctors in her practice and asked them if they had seen this happen during their many years of practicing medicine, where an ultrasound detects a heartbeat and then go on to miscarry. One of the pregnancy books I was reading stated that for a healthy women under age 30 the chances of miscarriage are only 12%, the chances drop to 8% once the sac has been seen, and only a 3% chance of miscarriage after a heartbeat has been detected. The other doctors told her that they had only seen this happen two other times before. She told me to come back into the office next week so they can measure my hcg levels again because she wants my level to be at 0 before we start trying again.
So here is what I've learned from all of this:
1. Miscarriage is way more common than you'd think. So many people shared their miscarriage experiences with me after hearing about my miscarriage. Maybe if people were more open to talking about it, people wouldn't feel like they were going through it alone. I know that many people wait until they are through their first trimester to tell people that they are pregnant so that if they do have a miscarriage they don't have to talk about it. I am not one of those people and I in no way regret telling people that I was pregnant. I am thankful for the people around me who knew the situation I was going through and were able to help me through it. People are meant to do life together and I can't imagine having to deal with my situation in secret, trying to hide it from others.
2. God allowed this to happen to me because he knew I would be able to handle it. Many people would be devastated in my situation and that's not to say that we weren't sad or upset that this happened but I understand that this happened for a reason. Part of the reason, I believe, was to build my character. It's easy to believe and trust God when everything is good but it is more difficult to believe and trust God when things don't turn out the way you thought they should. It would be easy to get mad at God for letting this happen, but instead I will trust that He must have something better planned for me. While doing a devotion the other night I was reminded of this verse:
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that our suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us. Romans 5:2-5
3. Lastly, I've learned that most people are super fertile after having a miscarriage. Let's hope that I'm one of those type of people. Once my blood test clear me of the hormones, I hope to get pregnant as soon as possible.
Although I may not have the answer to exactly why I had to experience this, I do have some greater clarity about this situation now which is comforting.
She told me that my blood test results had come back from the lab and my hcg level was 23. She also told me that they found my information from the hospital (I'm not sure why they couldn't find it to begin with, but I'm just glad they were able to locate it after all). She said that she saw all the information from my visit on Christmas- the pictures from the ultrasound, information about a recorded a fetal heart rate of 144 and then again of 166, and also the crown to rump measurements. The midwife told me that she met with all the doctors in her practice and asked them if they had seen this happen during their many years of practicing medicine, where an ultrasound detects a heartbeat and then go on to miscarry. One of the pregnancy books I was reading stated that for a healthy women under age 30 the chances of miscarriage are only 12%, the chances drop to 8% once the sac has been seen, and only a 3% chance of miscarriage after a heartbeat has been detected. The other doctors told her that they had only seen this happen two other times before. She told me to come back into the office next week so they can measure my hcg levels again because she wants my level to be at 0 before we start trying again.
So here is what I've learned from all of this:
1. Miscarriage is way more common than you'd think. So many people shared their miscarriage experiences with me after hearing about my miscarriage. Maybe if people were more open to talking about it, people wouldn't feel like they were going through it alone. I know that many people wait until they are through their first trimester to tell people that they are pregnant so that if they do have a miscarriage they don't have to talk about it. I am not one of those people and I in no way regret telling people that I was pregnant. I am thankful for the people around me who knew the situation I was going through and were able to help me through it. People are meant to do life together and I can't imagine having to deal with my situation in secret, trying to hide it from others.
2. God allowed this to happen to me because he knew I would be able to handle it. Many people would be devastated in my situation and that's not to say that we weren't sad or upset that this happened but I understand that this happened for a reason. Part of the reason, I believe, was to build my character. It's easy to believe and trust God when everything is good but it is more difficult to believe and trust God when things don't turn out the way you thought they should. It would be easy to get mad at God for letting this happen, but instead I will trust that He must have something better planned for me. While doing a devotion the other night I was reminded of this verse:
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that our suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us. Romans 5:2-5
3. Lastly, I've learned that most people are super fertile after having a miscarriage. Let's hope that I'm one of those type of people. Once my blood test clear me of the hormones, I hope to get pregnant as soon as possible.
Although I may not have the answer to exactly why I had to experience this, I do have some greater clarity about this situation now which is comforting.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Things didn't go well...
Well... I went in for my dating ultrasound today and there was absolutely nothing in there. Apparently I had a miscarriage during the time I was bleeding (when the doctors told me that everything was ok).
So I go into the room for the ultrasound and the tech says I'm going to look around for a bit and then I'll turn the tv on so you can see it on the big screen. Then she starts the ultrasound and asks "What did they see when you had your ultrasound at Winnie?" I told her that we saw the baby and a heart beat. I told her that the doctor told me I was measuring small, he said I was probably 6 weeks and 4 days along rather than almost 8 weeks like I believed to be based off my last period. She didn't say anything else the whole time. So I'm sitting there thinking, Ok something must not be right because she is awfully quiet and she's not showing us anything. Then she told me "Get dressed and we are going to have you talk with your midwife". Now my mind is racing because no one will tell me anything and then I'm put in a room to wait... and wait... and wait... what seemed like forever but was probably only 20 minutes or so. My midwife finally comes in and breaks the news to us that the ultrasounds show that I've had a complete miscarriage. She said she was pretty baffled as to how this could happen when we just saw a heartbeat a week or so back. She tried to get my ultrasound records from the hospital but they were unable to find them. Side note- What the heck!! How does a hospital not have my records?! Anyway, I did a urine test that came back negative so the midwife wanted me to have a blood test to see my hcg levels. I'm supposed to call tomorrow at 11am to get the results from that.
I guess I should've trusted my instincts. I feel like I knew this was coming and had been preparing myself for it. When I first took the pregnancy test, I didn't believe it was real. I took like 20 more but still didn't believe it. I only had one day of morning sickness and wasn't really experiencing any of the typical pregnancy symptoms (but they say that every pregnancy is different so I didn't think much about it). When the bleeding started, I feared the worst but I didn't have the symptoms that they say to look for. My midwife said that as long as I wasn't gushing a ton of blood or running a fever, I shouldn't really be too worried. At the hospital, the doctor saw the baby and a heartbeat and told me that unless I had a fever or was bleeding through more than one pad an hour that I didn't need to come back. The only day I had any pain was the day I went to the hospital and had an ultrasound. One of the pregnancy books that I've been reading since day 1 talked alot about miscarriage and the two authors' experiences with miscarriage but I remember thinking to myself, "Gosh why is all this miscarriage stuff in here... I don't need this stuff." Then just last night someone sent me a link to someones blog who talked about how she went in for an ultrasound and the baby didn't have a heartbeat, but how she was able to trust God in the situation anyway. Now I'm in a similar situation just 1 day later. I feel like maybe God put all that stuff in my path for a reason, to prepare me for all of this.
I feel like I am handling it fairly well. Of course I was sad and cried when I was told the news. I thought for sure that if I was having a miscarriage I would've been in a lot of pain and know that it was happening. I guess that's not always true. I broke down after I left the doctors office but pulled myself together before returning to work for the rest of the day. At work, people who knew about the pregnancy (and after I told them the bad news), asked my why I would come back to work after that happened. I figured I can either sit at home and wallow in self pity, or I can deal with it, be thankful that it happened early and not when the baby was further along, be thankful that it was complete and that I didn't have to have a D&C, and trust that God has a reason for everything and go on with my life. I chose the second option. Being sad and upset won't make things any different and I know that there is nothing I could've done to change the situation. I know that it is all in God's hands and I'm trusting Him fully in this situation even if I don't understand why this had to happen.
I'm praying that God will continue to give me clarity in the situation and that we will get pregnant again soon... hopefully with better results next time.
So I go into the room for the ultrasound and the tech says I'm going to look around for a bit and then I'll turn the tv on so you can see it on the big screen. Then she starts the ultrasound and asks "What did they see when you had your ultrasound at Winnie?" I told her that we saw the baby and a heart beat. I told her that the doctor told me I was measuring small, he said I was probably 6 weeks and 4 days along rather than almost 8 weeks like I believed to be based off my last period. She didn't say anything else the whole time. So I'm sitting there thinking, Ok something must not be right because she is awfully quiet and she's not showing us anything. Then she told me "Get dressed and we are going to have you talk with your midwife". Now my mind is racing because no one will tell me anything and then I'm put in a room to wait... and wait... and wait... what seemed like forever but was probably only 20 minutes or so. My midwife finally comes in and breaks the news to us that the ultrasounds show that I've had a complete miscarriage. She said she was pretty baffled as to how this could happen when we just saw a heartbeat a week or so back. She tried to get my ultrasound records from the hospital but they were unable to find them. Side note- What the heck!! How does a hospital not have my records?! Anyway, I did a urine test that came back negative so the midwife wanted me to have a blood test to see my hcg levels. I'm supposed to call tomorrow at 11am to get the results from that.
I guess I should've trusted my instincts. I feel like I knew this was coming and had been preparing myself for it. When I first took the pregnancy test, I didn't believe it was real. I took like 20 more but still didn't believe it. I only had one day of morning sickness and wasn't really experiencing any of the typical pregnancy symptoms (but they say that every pregnancy is different so I didn't think much about it). When the bleeding started, I feared the worst but I didn't have the symptoms that they say to look for. My midwife said that as long as I wasn't gushing a ton of blood or running a fever, I shouldn't really be too worried. At the hospital, the doctor saw the baby and a heartbeat and told me that unless I had a fever or was bleeding through more than one pad an hour that I didn't need to come back. The only day I had any pain was the day I went to the hospital and had an ultrasound. One of the pregnancy books that I've been reading since day 1 talked alot about miscarriage and the two authors' experiences with miscarriage but I remember thinking to myself, "Gosh why is all this miscarriage stuff in here... I don't need this stuff." Then just last night someone sent me a link to someones blog who talked about how she went in for an ultrasound and the baby didn't have a heartbeat, but how she was able to trust God in the situation anyway. Now I'm in a similar situation just 1 day later. I feel like maybe God put all that stuff in my path for a reason, to prepare me for all of this.
I feel like I am handling it fairly well. Of course I was sad and cried when I was told the news. I thought for sure that if I was having a miscarriage I would've been in a lot of pain and know that it was happening. I guess that's not always true. I broke down after I left the doctors office but pulled myself together before returning to work for the rest of the day. At work, people who knew about the pregnancy (and after I told them the bad news), asked my why I would come back to work after that happened. I figured I can either sit at home and wallow in self pity, or I can deal with it, be thankful that it happened early and not when the baby was further along, be thankful that it was complete and that I didn't have to have a D&C, and trust that God has a reason for everything and go on with my life. I chose the second option. Being sad and upset won't make things any different and I know that there is nothing I could've done to change the situation. I know that it is all in God's hands and I'm trusting Him fully in this situation even if I don't understand why this had to happen.
I'm praying that God will continue to give me clarity in the situation and that we will get pregnant again soon... hopefully with better results next time.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Thankful
Today I am feeling thankful, which is a good way to start the year if you ask me.
I am thankful that my bleeding finally stopped. I am very thankful that I had two weeks of no work for Christmas vacation. I am thankful that all of this bleeding junk happened while I was on vacation from work. I am thankful that I've only had one day of morning sickness which also took place during my vacation because I'm not sure how I could've handled waves of nausea with a classroom full of kindergarteners. I'm thankful that I was able to get back in the gym today. When all that bleeding was going on the doctors told me that I was supposed to take it easy for 2 weeks. It has been 10 days rather than 2 weeks, but I feel fine and am no longer bleeding so I couldn't just sit around any longer. Working out makes me feel so much better and have more energy and I feel great after tonight's workout. I am thankful for my wonderful in-laws who do so much for us. I am thankful for my sweet husband who did so much work around the house the past few days.
Last but not least, I am thankful for a new year that will hold many new adventures and hopefully a sweet baby as well. I have an ultrasound on Thursday morning and assuming everything is normal (which we are praying for) then we will make the announcement to the rest of our friends and family (and the facebook world as well). Thursday can not get here soon enough :)
I am thankful that my bleeding finally stopped. I am very thankful that I had two weeks of no work for Christmas vacation. I am thankful that all of this bleeding junk happened while I was on vacation from work. I am thankful that I've only had one day of morning sickness which also took place during my vacation because I'm not sure how I could've handled waves of nausea with a classroom full of kindergarteners. I'm thankful that I was able to get back in the gym today. When all that bleeding was going on the doctors told me that I was supposed to take it easy for 2 weeks. It has been 10 days rather than 2 weeks, but I feel fine and am no longer bleeding so I couldn't just sit around any longer. Working out makes me feel so much better and have more energy and I feel great after tonight's workout. I am thankful for my wonderful in-laws who do so much for us. I am thankful for my sweet husband who did so much work around the house the past few days.
Last but not least, I am thankful for a new year that will hold many new adventures and hopefully a sweet baby as well. I have an ultrasound on Thursday morning and assuming everything is normal (which we are praying for) then we will make the announcement to the rest of our friends and family (and the facebook world as well). Thursday can not get here soon enough :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Follow up appointment
After my visit to the ER on Christmas, I was told to follow up with my doctor as soon as I could. The doctor's office was closed Monday for the holidays, so today was the first time I could get in to see someone.
I woke up this morning and was still bleeding. I passed another really big glob of bloody stuff (like 3 inches long!) so I had begun to prepare myself mentally for the worst possible scenario. In my mind, I thought that since the doctor at the ER was in there poking around maybe that had made things worse. So I called the doctors office as soon as they opened this morning, explained my situation, and they scheduled me to go in at noon to see one of the doctors. It is funny to me how my whole life I've always made a point to have women doctors but as soon as something goes wrong you no longer care who is looking down at your lady parts as long as they can give you some answers.
When Michael and I got to doctors office, we had to wait a while because the doctor was at a meeting. I'm sure he was probably just not back from lunch yet, but whatever. So I explained to him the situation and what had gone on at the ER and then he did an exam. He said that my cervix is closed (phew! what a relief!) and that my uterus is measuring at a normal size for how far along I am. He didn't seem to think there was anything out of the ordinary and didn't seem all too concerned about the situation. He said that I probably have a blood clot on my cervix or uterus or between the two (I can't remember exactly how he said it) but that it probably was just aggravated by having sex. He told me to take it easy the next two weeks, no sex, no exercise, no heavy lifting. Hopefully all this bleeding nonsense will be done soon.
When we walked out of the office I told Michael that I felt so relieved that everything was ok and he said "you were really that worried about it?" Of course I was that worried about it!! I was freaking out about it!!! But again, he's always the calm one.
My next appointment is next week on Thursday for my dating ultrasound. I'm sure I will feel even more relieved when I see the little peanut on the computer screen. I'm praying for a very uneventful week 8. Enough drama for this mama!
I woke up this morning and was still bleeding. I passed another really big glob of bloody stuff (like 3 inches long!) so I had begun to prepare myself mentally for the worst possible scenario. In my mind, I thought that since the doctor at the ER was in there poking around maybe that had made things worse. So I called the doctors office as soon as they opened this morning, explained my situation, and they scheduled me to go in at noon to see one of the doctors. It is funny to me how my whole life I've always made a point to have women doctors but as soon as something goes wrong you no longer care who is looking down at your lady parts as long as they can give you some answers.
When Michael and I got to doctors office, we had to wait a while because the doctor was at a meeting. I'm sure he was probably just not back from lunch yet, but whatever. So I explained to him the situation and what had gone on at the ER and then he did an exam. He said that my cervix is closed (phew! what a relief!) and that my uterus is measuring at a normal size for how far along I am. He didn't seem to think there was anything out of the ordinary and didn't seem all too concerned about the situation. He said that I probably have a blood clot on my cervix or uterus or between the two (I can't remember exactly how he said it) but that it probably was just aggravated by having sex. He told me to take it easy the next two weeks, no sex, no exercise, no heavy lifting. Hopefully all this bleeding nonsense will be done soon.
When we walked out of the office I told Michael that I felt so relieved that everything was ok and he said "you were really that worried about it?" Of course I was that worried about it!! I was freaking out about it!!! But again, he's always the calm one.
My next appointment is next week on Thursday for my dating ultrasound. I'm sure I will feel even more relieved when I see the little peanut on the computer screen. I'm praying for a very uneventful week 8. Enough drama for this mama!
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