(slightly late) 7 month update

My sweet little one is now almost 7 and 1/2 months old.  She's such a sweet girl and her personality is beginning to really shine through.  She sits up very well now and is beginning to start pulling herself up to a standing position. She loves to stick her tongue out and shake her head as if she were saying "no". She thinks it is really funny when we copy her by sticking out our tongues or shaking our heads too.  Apparently, I take way to many photos of her because she now knows to smile when she sees the camera.  She loves to try to drink from my giant water bottle that is about as big as she is.  She also loves to watch our doggie, Cooper, run around.  Every morning we go in Cooper's room to say hi after we wake up and she gets a huge smile on her face and waves to the dog.  She thinks it's funny when we play catch with the dog and he comes running back to us as well.  

She still has a good amount of stranger/separation anxiety.  She's ok with someone else holding her as long as she can see me, but if I leave she just screams and screams :(  It makes me so sad.  Michael's mom has been coming over twice a week to watch the baby while I go to the gym and although it seems to be getting a little better, she still cries a good amount.  It makes me feel awful to know that I'm doing something to make her so upset.  I'm not a fan of the Cry It Out method, or for letting her cry for any extended period of time, but I've been told that as long as she's being held and comforted the crying while I'm gone won't have the same damaging effects as letting her cry it out.  I'm only gone for an hour and a half and I always leave a bottle in the fridge for her, but lately she's refusing to take a bottle. I thought maybe it was just that she didn't want to take it from someone else while I wasn't around, but I've tried giving her a bottle too and she won't take it from me either.  She just wants a boob I guess.  She was fine taking a bottle a month ago, but now she wants nothing to do with it.  I tried putting milk in a sippy cup, but she wasn't having that either.

Betsy Grace used to say "ma ma" all the time but now she only says it when she's upset. She has started saying "ba ba" and "ga ga" but still no "da da" although we say it to her all the time. She loves to shriek and make all kinds of noises like she's singing. She's also trying to crawl but can't quite figure out how to get her head and her bottom up at the same time.  She's good with being on her tummy and lifting her head up or laying down with her bottom up so instead of crawling she scoots along on her tummy like an army crawl or she'll just roll all over the place to get to where she wants to be. 

Swimming in the back yard

This month she had her first trip to the Farmer's Market, her first time sitting in the grass (she wasn't a fan!) at the dog park, her first father's day, her first time in her little swimming pool, her first time on the swings at the park, and celebrated her first 4th of July.  This past month we also spent some time in Tampa for a workshop Michael had to attend for work.  While we were there we got to meet up with our friends Krista and Scott and meet there sweet little boy, Eli.  Betsy Grace and Eli had their first play date together, although Eli slept through most of it :) She also had her first time eating solid food this month.  We started with avocados and she ate some of it but didn't love it.  We also tried sweet potatoes and cantaloupe but she didn't really like those either.  We're just going to take a break from solids for a little while and try again in a few weeks.  She's still waking up at least 2 times at night to nurse, which is fine with me.  I just try to nap with her during the day so I'm not too tired (and she seems to nap longer when I'm laying down with her).  Still no teeth either.  

Eating avocado

Not so sure about sitting in the grass

Our very first "young, marrieds" bible study group from about 5 years ago was able to get together recently.  Our group was together for two years before people started moving to different parts of the country for school and jobs.  We always had a running bet of who would have babies first but it ended up being the opposite of how we thought it would happen.  Now four of the five couples have had a baby and we were able to get everyone together to meet all the new little ones.  Ava is just 36 hours older than Betsy Grace, Eli is 2 months old, and Jane is just two weeks old!

Katelyn and Ava, me and Betsy Grace, Erin and Jane, Krista and Eli, and Mandi (no baby for them yet!)

6 months already? How did that happen??

I can not believe my sweet little girl is already half a year old! How did that happen?  Can time please slow down? I guess I have no control over that, so I'll just cherish every sweet moment I have with her as a little tiny (well not that tiny) baby.  We had our 6 month check up at the doctor's office today.  She weighed in at 17lbs and is 27 inches long.  She's in the 75th percentile for her weight and the 90th percentile for her height.  It's amazing what momma's milk can do!  Apparently, she's going to be tall like daddy which is fine by me... hopefully she won't have the problem that I've had my entire life of having to always buy pants only to have them hemmed so not to be 3 feet too long.

What has been happening this past month-
She is now able to sit up on her own for short periods of time. I think it's so cute when she gets tired of sitting up or loses her balance and just falls over.  She gets this look on her face like "Hey what happened?"  She gets excited when Daddy gets home every day or when she's been in the swing while I'm in the shower and then come in to get her.  She gets a huge smile on her face, squeals, and kicks her little feet to show her excitement.  She had her first trip out of the state (even though she was quite the world traveler while in utero- she's been to Savannah, Vancouver, Alaska, and even hiked a glacier before she was born). We took a trip to Georgia to our friends' farm with our bible study group for the weekend.  She got to meet her future best friend who was born this month. We celebrated my first mother's day with flowers, hand prints and foot prints on a card, and diamond earrings (not a bad first mother's day!!). She's also starting to show stranger anxiety.  She's quite attached to momma.  My mom came over for a few minutes and so I took the chance to jump in the shower, only to hear Betsy Grace scream the entire time.  She doesn't really like for other people to hold her for long either.  She's ok for a few minutes but then starts to fuss.

Sitting like a big girl at the farm

She's still exclusively breastfed although I plan to introduce solid food sometime this month.  I'm not planning on doing purees or baby food though.  We are going to start with steamed veggies and other soft foods.  She's still in bed with us, which is fine by me, although people love to give me advice about making her sleep by herself.  No thanks... we will get there when it's the right time for us. She has good nights and sometimes we have rough nights, but I'd say more good than bad.  She usually sleeps from 10pm-3am when she starts to stir.  I can put the pacifier in her mouth and after a few minutes she will go back to sleep until around 5am and then wants to eat.  Then we go back to sleep until around 8:30am.  Two nights ago we had our very first night of 8 hours of sleep.  I woke up at 6am thinking it was still the middle of the night, but to my surprise it was light outside and she was still sleeping! I felt like a new person after all that sleep!

I've joined a mommies group in my neighborhood to help me get out of the house and meet some other local moms.  So far, I've attended brunch with a few other moms and we also went to story time at Leu Gardens this week.  At brunch I mentioned that I use cloth diapers and the organizer of the group asked if I'd host an event to teach other mommies about cloth diapers.  I never in a million years thought I'd be teaching a class on cloth diapering, but I'm happy to do it.

Just hanging out with her future BFF, Delaney

That's about it for this past month.  See ya next month!

5 months old

Ok... so I'm only a week and a half behind on writing this months update (that's not too bad!)  Over the past month we've celebrated Easter, attending a million baby showers, broke a world record, got sick (both of us), and had a week of parenting on my own while my hubby was in Dallas.

Betsy Grace is just a few ounces shy of 16 lbs and is now rolling all over the place.  She has been rolling from her belly to her back for a few months because she hates being on her belly. But a few weeks ago I laid her down on her back on her play mat and went to put a load of laundry in the washing machine.  When I came back in she was fussing and laying on her belly.  She couldn't get one of her arms from underneath her belly so she was kind of stuck there and wasn't really happy about it.  I guess technically I missed the first roll over, but I've seen it plenty of times since then to make up for it. She's also starting to attempt to crawl.  She hasn't quite figured out how to get her knees up underneath her, but she pushes her feet on the floor and scoots herself around.

We participated in the Great Cloth Diaper Change event this month.  All over the world babies got changed into a cloth diaper to raise awareness for using cloth diapers and set a world record of 8,331 babies changed into cloth diapers at one time.  Although our local event seemed a little disorganized (this was only the 2nd annual event for our location), we still had a good time.  We got a lot of fun freebies from the vendors and I met a mom with a little girl just a little older than Betsy Grace and they also attend our church.

Last month I mentioned that everyone I know is pregnant right now.  This month was the month for all the baby showers.  On one Saturday, we had two showers to attend.  So I went to the first shower for a little while then left to go across town to the other shower.  I need to learn not to over do it.  I know that two baby showers doesn't sound like a lot to do in one day, but when you are trying to do it all by yourself with a baby and get in all the feedings and nap times it becomes a challenge. I stress myself out and get all frazzled.

Michael and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this month.  We didn't really do anything special, just went out to dinner.  He had a conference in Dallas and was gone for most of the following week.  That was a LONG week... I had scheduled a few outings with friends to get out of the house and not lose my mind being at home all week by myself with the baby.  Unfortunately, both of us got sick and ended up spending most of the week at home anyway.  We were able to do facetime with Michael every night and it was really cute how excited the baby would get seeing his face on the computer screen.  She loves her daddy!

That's about it for this past month.  Here's a few of my favorite pictures from April:

What a silly face!

3 month and 4 month update

So obviously I'm a little behind in my blog posts... Completely missed the three month update and we're half way through the fourth month. Oh well, I'm here now to document what's been happening the past month and a half.

My sweet little girl is now close to 15 pounds and is close to 25 inches long.  At our last doctors appointment they told me that she's longer than average (she definitely does not get that from me... that's all from daddy). She loves to smile, make noises, laugh,  shriek out these really loud sounds, blow spit bubbles, grab her feet, and chew on every thing.  I'm pretty certain the teething era has begun.  We are using an amber teething necklace, but so far the only benefit I can see is that she drools a little less when she's wearing it.  She can roll from her belly to her back and half way from her back to her belly. She hates doing "tummy time" but will do it for about two minutes at a time.  Speaking of tummy time- I did a little research about it and some people don't think babies should do tummy time until they can turn over to their tummy on their own.  I'm not sure, but it does make me feel better about not doing tummy time as often as people say you should.  She loves to be held or worn in the Baby K'Tan or the Ergo and that is pretty much the only way I can get any thing done around the house is to wear her.  I don't mind though... she will only be little for a little while.

We battled an awful diaper rash for a whole month.  She had thrush, the doctor treated her and not me, so it came back.  Then my midwife prescribed stuff to treat me and I treated the baby as well, so after 4 weeks we finally kicked the yeast rash.  Ugh... so not fun! And so expensive using disposable diapers for a whole month! We are back in our cloth diapers now and I've been using coconut oil to help keep the yeast from returning.  

Betsy Grace was dedicated at church in March.  I was super nervous that she would freak out when the pastor held her (she went through a little phase where any time someone other than mommy or daddy held her she would cry) but she did great! My godson, Keegan, also got dedicated on the same day. 

She was sleeping really great for a while (go to bed at 10pm, wake up to nurse at 3am, again at 6am, and then we'd sleep until 9am) but when the teething began our sleeping changed as well.  For about two weeks we were getting up at 1am, 3am, 5am, and then waking up at 8am. I'm glad to say that has passed (for now, I know that nothing is permanent in terms of sleep for a baby).  We are back to our old routine of going to bed at 10, nurse at 3am and 6am, and wake up for the day at 8ish.  Everyone asks, "Is she sleeping through the night yet?" No and that is totally fine with me.  Breast milk is digested in less than 2 hours so I don't expect her to go 8 hours without eating.  She's still sleeping in bed with us and probably will for a while.  I've tried letting her sleep on her own but it just isn't happening yet.  She will fall asleep in my arms and the second that I set her down in her pack-n-play or crib she wakes right up.  Michael has tried to do it as well, but with no luck.  Occasionally she will nap in her crib but I think that has only happened three or four times.  I don't mind snuggling with her at night.  I'm pretty positive I'm never going to look back and say "man, I wish I had let my tiny little baby sleep all alone". I sleep in comfort with the person I love next to me every night, why should I deprive her of the same thing?

I turned in my resignation to work for next year which was a little scary but exciting at the same time.  I've always said I wanted to stay home with my kids but it is still a little scary to realize that you no longer have a job. I'm so glad that I took an extended leave for the rest of this school year because I can not imagine how hard it would be to leave her to go back to work. I miss my teacher friends, but I certainly don't miss all the drama and dealing with 18 (or more) kiddos. I used to get really bad Sunday night depression/anxiety knowing I had to go to work the next day, but I no longer experience that. Now I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is :)   I did take the baby with me to visit my class on their field trip to Lake Eola. The kids were cute and super excited to see me and the baby, but I think I may have confused them.  So many of them asked me if I was going to stay with them and be back in the classroom with them. I'll go back to say goodbye on the last day of school.

I feel like everyone I know is pregnant right now.... seriously, eight of my friends are expecting little ones in the next three months.  I have five baby showers to go to this month! Little miss Betsy Grace will have lots of little playmates running around in a few months.  Well, that's about all that has been going on around here.  Hopefully it won't be another two months until I update again! :)

2 month update

Baby girl is two months old as of yesterday.  Time seems to be flying by! I feel like just yesterday I was sitting in the hospital bed holding a brand new baby.  This month has been a little less exhausting than last month... we are getting into a routine and experiencing lots of "firsts". We had our first real smiles, our first vacation with baby, first trip to church, first round of shots....

Betsy Grace loves to smile and laugh.  Most of the time it's for the ceiling fan, the birdies on her swing, shiny things, or bright lights but lately she's had lots of smiles for mommy.  I can't even express how much I love that sweet little smile!  She also loves to talk.  She's always making noises and likes to go back and forth with me as I imitate the noises she makes.  I think we are in some trouble once she starts really saying words because if this is any indication she will be talking non stop. 

This month also brought about our first diaper rash and trip to the doctor for something other than a well visit. She had a light white coating on her tongue for a while which I was worried might be thrush.  She didn't have white any where else in her mouth besides her tongue so I figured maybe I was just being paranoid, but decided to go to the doctor to have it checked out just in case.  Unfortunately, the PA said she had a mild case of thrush in her mouth and a yeast diaper rash.  So we left with a prescription for Nystatin in oral form and as a cream.  We have finished the oral part of the medication, but I don't feel like her tongue looks any better.  Her diaper rash cleared up right away thankfully.  We had our 2 month appointment today with the doctor and he said that she looked fine and that it's just milk on her tongue.  I hope he's right because I really don't want to have to go through the process of bleaching/sterilizing/stripping all of my diapers, bottles, pacifiers, towels, etc. again.  

Since she had thrush we've taken a break from using the cloth diapers and are using disposables instead until everything is cleared up.  I have to say that I really dislike disposable diapers... they just can't contain the poop! I've experienced more blowouts in the past 2 weeks than I did over the past 6 weeks combined!  I never had any problems with our cloth diapers leaking like the disposables.  Because of the yeast diaper rash I had to do some intense cleaning of the cloth diapers to kill all the yeast so we don't get it again once we go back to using them.  I've also been boiling pacifiers and pump supplies like crazy to try to get rid of the yeast.  Sadly, I also had to throw out a bunch of frozen milk that I had stocked up in the freezer.  I'm not sure when the thrush began so just to be safe I tossed it all out. 

We took our first vacation with baby this month as well.  Michael had a three day work conference in St. Pete at the Don Cesar and we went with him.  Betsy Grace and I were able to meet up with some friends who live in Tampa for dinner on Wednesday night while Michael was at a work dinner.  We just hung out at the hotel most of the time while Michael was in meetings, but it was nice to be away from home and have a change of scenery for a little while.

Today we had our two month visit at the doctor's office.  The past few weeks I've been trying to decide what I wanted to do in terms of vaccinations so I've been doing a lot of research.  The amount of information, both for and against vaccinations, is overwhelming.  It makes my head hurt. I'm not totally against getting vaccines, but some of the ingredients and side effects can be pretty frightening. I still haven't completely made up my mind as to whether or not I want to do the alternative schedule, which spaces out the amount of shots given at one time, or the selective schedule, which only includes the most needed vaccines.  Thankfully, both of those schedules are the same for the 2 month check up so I have a few more weeks to make up my mind.  Today she had an oral dose of the Rotavirus vaccine and the DTaP shot.  Poor little thing... I've never heard her scream so loud. 

Betsy Grace has been gaining weight steadily (very thankful that I bought a baby scale) so I've been spacing out our nighttime feedings. At her appointment today she was 11 lbs 1.5oz.   I stopped setting the alarm to wake her up to feed her and just follow her lead at night.  Normally we have our last feeding before bed at 10pm, she falls asleep in bed with us by 11, wakes up around 3 to eat, wakes up again around 6:45, and then we get up for the day at 8a.m.  It feels great to finally get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. 

That pretty much sums up the past month.  Until next month... :)

Surviving the first month

Baby girl will be six weeks old tomorrow, so I guess technically we've survived more than the first month but my time to update my blog has greatly diminished since I have another human being total reliant on me.  So here's what has been going on since we came home from the hospital with our sweet little girl. 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4- Christmas

Week 5

Week 6

Michael went back to work the Monday after we got home from the hospital but the midwife didn't want me being all by myself at home so my mom came to help the first day.  She also went with me to my appointment with the lactation consultant at our pediatricians office.  The lactation consultant had me nurse the baby and then weighed her after each side to see how much she was eating.  She said that I was doing everything correctly and she gave me some medicated cream since the baby had done some serious damage to my left nipple.  Of course the baby nursed totally fine while we were with the lactation consultant, but at home she was really struggling and fighting on the left side but nursing great from the right side.  Because of the damage on the left side it was also super painful for me to have her nurse from that side, so I resorted to pumping on that side instead.

Because the baby had some jaundice issues, I was told to nurse her as frequently as possible.  We were waking up every two hours through the night so I could feed her, but because of the jaundice she was almost impossible to wake up.  I would have to get up, change her diaper (which would make her mad), undress her, turn the light on, and then she would finally wake up enough to eat for a few minutes.  It was hard having to do this because Michael would have to go to work in the morning so I felt bad about waking him up through the process of waking her up, she would only feed off of the right side, and I was exhausted from my complete lack of sleep.  The pediatrician wanted me to do the 2 hour feedings until she was back to her birth weight. 

Well, because she was only feeding from the right side, I was pumping the left side before bed, then going all night and then pump again in the morning. I did that for about a week and a half before I experienced my first clogged ducts from the engorgement of going all night with out pumping or feeding from that side.  Holy cow- clogged/plugged ducts are nothing to mess around with... it is seriously painful.  The entire left side of my left boob was hard as a rock, red, hot, and hurt like crazy.  I knew I needed to be careful so that I didn't get mastitis so I tried taking hot showers, massage, and pumped like crazy. When I woke up that morning, I was in so much pain that I wanted to cry and I couldn't even hold the baby with my left arm. The next day it was even worse.  I had developed blisters on my nipple and was in serious pain (although I never had a fever, thank goodness). I called the lactation consultant and she told me that I needed to pop the blisters with a sterile needle (yuck!) and then pump right away to try to unclog it.  She also said to have the baby nurse on that side to try to unclog it, but the pain of having her nurse on that side was unbearable so I couldn't do it.  Finally after two days it cleared up and I hope that is not something I have to experience again.  Seriously not pleasant at all!! After that incident, I decided I needed to suck it up and just let her nurse on the left side and fight through the pain. Thankfully, now she can nurse fine off that side and it no longer is painful.  Anyone who says breastfeeding doesn't hurt or isn't hard... IS A LIAR! But if you can make it through the hard part in the beginning, it definitely gets easier with time and now I actually enjoy the time I spend breastfeeding my baby.

Betsy Grace wasn't back to her birth weight at her two week appointment (she was 3 ounces shy) so they told me to continue waking her up every two hours to eat.  Man, I was so disappointed.  I was so hoping that she would be past her birth weight so I could finally get more than an hour stretch of sleep at one time during the night.  They told me to come back in a week to check her weight again.  She gained 5 ounces which put her at 8lbs 6oz.  I asked the nurse if I could do longer stretches between feedings at night since her weight went up, but she said because she is a slow gainer to not go more than 3 hours between night time feedings.  Ok, so I get a little more sleep but not a lot.  I know that everyone says "sleep when the baby naps during the day" but I am not good at doing that and when you are home by yourself you have to get other stuff done rather than nap all day. So I would feed her at 10pm when we went to bed, again at 1a.m., 4a.m., and then again at 6:45a.m. when I would wake up Michael so he could get ready for work. (And continued to feed every two hours during the day)   We did that for about two weeks  and then I finally broke down and bought a baby scale so I could make sure she was gaining weight. 

She now weighs 9lbs 9oz and we don't go back to the doctor until the end of this month so I made the decision to start stretching out our feeding times at night.  I know that I can't let her go more than 4 hours at a time without eating because breastmilk is digested so quickly she could get dehydrated after more than 4 hours.  We are currently going to bed at 10pm, feeding at 2a.m., and again at 6a.m. although sometimes she will want to wake up to eat around 5a.m. instead.  I've also strayed away from the strictness of the "feed baby every 2 to 2 1/2 hours" schedule and leaned more toward baby directed feeding.  I've been doing a lot of research about other cultures and the ways they raise their infants and what I've found is that the best option is to simply follow the baby's lead.  So that's what we are doing now and since I have the scale I can make sure that she is still gaining like she should.  So rather than feeding every 2 hours during the day, I let her tell me when she's hungry.  It may be 10 or 30 minutes after she last ate or it may be 2 hours after she ate.  She's eating frequently and seems to be doing fine. 

Another thing that I've decided on (that I've met some resistance about) is that we are co-sleeping.  My mommy instincts tell me that it is best to have her near me while we sleep rather than putting her in her crib away from me.  Research shows that infants who have skin-to-skin contact sleep better, breathe better, have a better regulated temperature, and have better brain development.  All of those are perks but I just feel more comfortable and sleep better knowing she is safe in my arms.  People say "aren't you afraid you are going to roll over on her?" and no, I'm not afraid of that.  I'm very aware that she is in my arms and we both wake up in the same position we fell asleep in.  If she moves or stirs I feel it.  When I feel her looking for my boobs, I know she's ready to eat.  I don't have to get up and go get her to feed her, I simply have to sit up.  I'm not sure how long we will co-sleep, maybe just the first few months, but right now it's what feels right.

I've also been told that I'm spoiling her by holding her too much and not letting her sleep on her own.  I don't believe that is the case.  Rather, I feel it is important to be close to her as much as possible (even though it can be frustrating when I'm attempting to get something done and she won't let me put her down).  There is a lot of interesting research about the "fourth trimester", the first three months outside of the womb.  It makes alot of sense to me... google it if you want more info. I'm very thankful for my Baby K'tan wrap so I can wear her when I need to get something done (I'm currently wearing her as I type and she's snoring away!) Other cultures hold or wear their infants constantly throughout the day (and co-sleep as well) so why do people in our culture think it is ok to just leave this little person by themselves and expect them to not fuss about it? Sure it might be hard or inconvenient, but you can't expect life to be just like it was before you had a baby. 

We've been using cloth diapers since we came home from the hospital with the exception of days that we were out of the house all day and during the night time, but as of two weeks ago (when we ran out of disposable diapers) we've been using cloth full time.  I love it! Sure, I have to change her a little more frequently during the day using the prefolds but it is way easier than I had imagined it to be.  We use prefolds and covers during the day at home and then use the pocket or all-in-one cloth diapers at night or when we go out.  They work better than the disposables too.  The only mess we've had was in a disposable diaper when it went all up her back.  We don't have that problem with the cloth diapers. I just do a few extra loads of diaper laundry a week and that's it. So far my cloth diaper stash includes 24 prefolds, 10 covers (most of which were given to me on my cloth diaper cake), 1 Rumparooz pocket diaper, 4 Fuzzibunz pocket diapers (my favorite by far!), 6 BumGenius pocket diapers, 2 Kawaii diapers, 2 Cocalo diapers, and 5 BumGenius freetime all in one diapers. 

As far as my recovery is concerned, I feel 100% back to normal.  I've lost 26 pounds without even trying and have 10 pounds left to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I'm not sure how quickly those last 10 pounds will fall off because breastfeeding makes me super hungry all the time.  I go to the doctor on the 14th for my 6 week post partum check up and hopefully she will give me the ok to start exercising again.  I've missed my body pump and spin classes at the Y that I loved before pregnancy.  Its hard for me to think about leaving my little one in the daycare at the gym when she's so little, so it may be a little longer before that happens, or will only happen when Michael is home to watch her. 

That's it for now.  Hopefully my next update won't be another 6 weeks from now. 

Our birth story

Two weeks ago at my 38 weeks doctor's appointment, the midwife thought the baby could come any time.  I was 2 cm dilated and 60-70% effaced and she said that we could possibly have a thanksgiving baby.  Well, thanksgiving came and went, and even though I had been having contractions nothing was regular.  So I made it to my next doctor's appointment this past week (39 weeks along).  On Tuesday morning I went in to meet with the midwife and she thought for sure I would could have the baby that day.  I was close to 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  I told her that I'd been having lots of contractions but that whenever I changed activities or positions they would fade away.  She asked if I wanted her to "stir things up" when she checked me to help get things going and I said sure.  She also said I could try eating some pineapple, maybe get another prenatal massage, try acupuncture, and if I wanted to I could try taking castor oil if things didn't start progressing. She knew that I was concerned about going past my due date and having to be induced.  She gave me a copy of chart just in case I went to the hospital because she said it would help speed up the process in the event that I did go into labor.

When I got home from my appointment I decided to try to walk to get things going.  I took Cooper for a good long walk and was having contractions 1-2 minutes apart during our walk. But as soon as we got home and I laid down on the couch, the contractions went back to being 5-10 minutes apart.  My contractions definitely felt different than the ones I had been experiencing the past few weeks. They were much more painful, but still not to the point where I couldn't walk or talk.  I was frustrated with this on and off contractions nonsense, so I decided to try some of the midwife's other recommendations.  I went to Publix and bought some fresh pineapple (lucky for me it was on sale!) and I also stopped by CVS and picked up a bottle of castor oil.  I ate pretty much the entire pineapple, but was hesitant to try to castor oil because I knew that it would give me diarrhea and probably wouldn't taste so great either.  Around 4pm I decided to try the castor oil anyway.  The midwife had recommended blending it with 2 scoops of ice cream and some milk to make it a little less disgusting.  I did that, and drank most of it, but it was awful!  Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. 

Around 6pm on Tuesday night I began having contractions about 2-3 minutes apart pretty regularly.  Michael had a hair cut appointment across town and I went with him, all the while still having contractions.  We went to dinner afterwards because I felt like as soon as we got home and laid down my contractions would fade away like they had earlier.  Once we got home, the castor oil's laxative effect kicked in and I literally lost 5 pounds- gross!  I didn't have any other real changes so I decided I'd just go to sleep and see what happened.  After about 2 hours of sleep, I woke up at midnight to a small gush of fluid and I immediately thought "hum... I wonder if that was my water breaking". It wasn't much fluid so I thought maybe it was just discharge, but I couldn't be sure.  I texted the midwife telling her what was going on and that we might head to the hospital if things kept progressing.  My contractions were 2 minutes apart and pretty painful, so I woke up Michael and told him I thought we should go to the hospital just to be safe. 

We checked into Triage at Winnie Palmer at 1:10a.m. and they checked me and confirmed that I had ruptured my bag of water.  I was 5cm dilated at that point.  They admitted us and I called the midwife to let her know (since I hadn't heard back from my text messages to her I figured she was probably home sleeping like a normal person!).  She said that the nurses from the hospital would probably be calling her soon and then she'd head to the hospital.  She got there a little while later and came to see how we were doing in Triage. The nurses tried to put an IV in my hand (unsuccessfully 3 times!) but I ended up with just a saline lock because I told them I didn't want an IV and that I would just drink plenty of fluids on my own.

At 3:30a.m. we were moved to our labor and delivery room. I explained to the nuurses that i was doing this naturally so not to offer pain meds.  The midwife started the bathtub and told me to get in there and lean over the edge as soon as it was full.  I followed directions and got in the tub.  It felt so good to be in the hot water.  I stayed in the tub for a while (I think I had lost track of time at this point) but then was ready to try something else.  I got out and the nurse checked to see how I was progressing.  I was 7cm and she could feel that my bag of water hadn't fully ruptured and so she called the midwife to come rupture it.  While she was on the phone with the midwife, I had a contraction and my water broke on it's own. That was the most disgusting feeling and I couldn't believe how much fluid came out.  After my water broke things moved very quickly.  My contractions where getting so painful.  I remember thinking "I don't know if I can do this" and praying for God to give me strength to be able to finish this.  I also remember saying to the nurse, "Ok this is way harder than I thought it was going to be".  They all kind of just laughed at me because I was doing such a great job and staying so composed.  I felt the need to start pushing whenever I had a contraction so the midwife had me lay on my side and try pushing. I remember thinking wow I'm really bad at this pushing stuff... this really hurts.  After a while on my side she had me squat at the end of the bed.  That felt better but still wasn't very fun.  We squatted through  five or six contractions and then I got back in bed on my side.  I pushed through a few more contractions and the baby's head began to crown and I began to get frustrated because it wouldn't get out! After some more pushing (and screaming "I can't do it!" on my part) the baby's head was out and the next thing I knew she was laying on my stomach.  Wow... I had never experienced such intense pain in my life!  She was born at 6:11a.m.  As soon as she was out I said to everyone "Ok, I don't think I want to do that again any time soon!".  I had one small tear and received a few stitches while I held the baby for the first time. But I did it with no drugs!!!

 I held her for about 30 minutes before the nurses took her to do all their checks.  She weighed in at 8lbs 3.6oz and 21 inches long.  She had a lot of facial bruising from going through the birth canal facing the wrong way up (or something...) so she was very purple.  Her oxygen levels were fine but when she cried they dropped slightly so they wanted to take her up to the nursery to be monitored for 2 hours to make sure she was ok.  I asked if they would let me go with her and they said no because I needed to recover first.  I was not happy about that and there was no way I was going to be away from my baby for 2 hours when I hadn't even been able to breast feed yet. Michael was able to go with her instead.   The nurse who took over my care after the birth was wonderful and told me that as soon as I could get up and walk and use the bathroom she would take me up to the nursery in a wheel chair.  So I quickly got up (well as quickly as possible after giving birth) and made my way to the bathroom.  She wheeled me upstairs and I was able to hold and breastfeed the baby while they monitored her.  While I was doing that Michael and my mom moved all of our things to our regular hospital room.  Her oxygen levels were fine the entire time she was in the nursery but because of her bruising they wanted to monitor her for another two hours. Michael and I took turns staying in there, alternating because the nurses had to check me and we both needed to eat something.  Finally around 10:30a.m. she was able to come to our room. 

We stayed in the hospital Wednesday night and Thursday night and got discharged to go home on Friday.  Little one's jaundice levels were a little high (nothing high enough to be concerned about) so they sent us home with a bili blanket.  We had to go to the pediatrician the next day to have him check her levels, but he wasn't worried about jaundice at all.  He said she looks great and that the hospital is always way overly cautious about that stuff.  He said for us to use the bili blanket until Monday and then we can send it back to the home health company that it came from.  It is quite a pain to have her hooked up to a machine while trying to learn to breastfeed and bond with her when the cord to the machine only reaches so far. I can't wait to get rid of that thing!! 

Things at home are going well but breastfeeding is a challenge.  I am so incredibly sore! It's fine once she's going but the initial latching on is so painful.  I'm going to see the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's office on Monday just to make sure I'm doing everything right.  I know everyone has told me the first two weeks are hard, but I certainly hope it gets better quickly.