Uneventful weeks 8, 9, and 10

I fortunately have nothing big to report about the past three weeks.  As crazy as it sounds, I wish I could say that I've been super sick and experiencing tons of symptoms, but that has not been the case.  I know that I should be happy that I'm not sick and I know that plenty of women don't get sick and delivery perfectly healthy babies, but I really feel like it would calm my nerves and help me know that things are going as they should if I was experiencing morning sickness.  My only symptoms are sore boobs, crazy sense of smell, waking up every night in the middle of the night to pee, and out of control emotions.  It's bad... I can't watch the Publix Mother's Day commercial without crying! The mom in the commercial is pregnant and talking to her daughter about how she used to talk to her in her belly when she was pregnant with her.  The little girl asks if the baby can hear her and the mom says "I think so". So then they debate what the little girl should tell the baby and she ends up going up to the mom's tummy and says "You're really going to love mommy." Oh my goodness, just thinking about it makes me tear up.

I've been struggling with doubt and knowing that this is real.  It's so hard to know that things are going the way they should be going when I don't feel a whole lot different than I do normally. I don't look pregnant yet and it is too early to feel the baby move inside me, so it is hard to know that it is really happening.  I'm past the point where I miscarried last time, but I wish I could have an unltrasound to know that everything is ok.  I'm anxiously awaiting my next appointment with the midwife on May 22nd.  I have my NT scan and blood tests and who knows what else, but I don't care as long as I get to see a healthy baby.  I so badly want to know that there is still a baby alive inside of me. 

I'm counting down the days until May 22 (as well as to the end of the school year... only 20 more days of school left until summer vacation!)